Today, Kailey told me that she reads my blogs. (:
it made me very happy. and i realized i needed to update.
my dog died. Dooley was 7 years old. i loved him. a lot and im going to miss him like crazy. 10.12.09
This year, is hard. i want to cry everytime i think about my grades and i can imagine what my mom is going to say to me when those report cards go home...
darkness is LOOOOMING closer and closer. (my english teacher used that word today:)...mobydick-_-)
But in between my harsh schoolwork and stress are my...friends<3
They mean soo much to me and they make my days so much easier.
I love you guys, and thank you. really.
but this week is going to be nice i think. on Wednesday, there is no school, so i will be devoting my life to APUSH so that i can get a A on my test. frsureee. and on FRIDAY i think there will be a sleeeeepover with probably the coolest girls at school:) and we can be little girlies and gossip and sing and eat icecream and share our love for parachute...
which reminds me...PARACHUTE IS AWESOME. they are an amazing band with amazing music, and i think everybody should be obsessed with them like me and hannah and kailey and madison. pretty much all the cool kids;) jaykay:D I got to see them live which i thought would never be possible and got a picture with them. purtty cooool! me and Johnny(drummmmer) have an inside joke..
"are you old enough to drink?"
"shhhhh"
its also me and madddie's joke;)
hehehe. thinking of this can always make me smile.
its sad to admit this but i think im growing apart from God these days. All the bad things that go on in my life just cloudd around my head and it makes me forget sometimes that God is here to listen and he can help. But i.always.forget. I need to just aseoituadkfjoawiajflkd and trust God. "All things are possible through God."
please pray for me cause i reallly need it.
Lord, please help me receive your strength&
peace,
parkhannahkrap
Monday, November 9, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
inside out
its October.
im going to school.
and i want to cry.
everything that happens around me somehow turns bad and finds a way to bug me. this week was so lame, i wish i could throw it away. but time is valuable and i know i dont mean that. butt, i wish this week would be over soon..and it will cause todays a thursday:)
i have gcc tonight. gotta quiz. im tired of my teacher telling me that i suck at signing. yeah, im a little slower and im not as enthusiastic as others, but i have so many other things going on in my mind, that i dont have the time to practice signing for an hour at home.
i have a quiz today, so wish me luck.
i need to focus on my school work.
it needs to get cold again.
and i need a vacation...already.
I nead some faith&
peace.
im going to school.
and i want to cry.
everything that happens around me somehow turns bad and finds a way to bug me. this week was so lame, i wish i could throw it away. but time is valuable and i know i dont mean that. butt, i wish this week would be over soon..and it will cause todays a thursday:)
i have gcc tonight. gotta quiz. im tired of my teacher telling me that i suck at signing. yeah, im a little slower and im not as enthusiastic as others, but i have so many other things going on in my mind, that i dont have the time to practice signing for an hour at home.
i have a quiz today, so wish me luck.
i need to focus on my school work.
it needs to get cold again.
and i need a vacation...already.
I nead some faith&
peace.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
burnin up
has this been a week or whattt. its only Monday, but the past week has been...purtty crazzy.
Last week was suppose to be the last week of summer vacation...but it wasnt. This huge fire broke out in La Canada..and now in La Crescenta..and now in Sunland. its HUGE. GINORMOUS. CRAZY. anyway, this fire at first was...exciting. cool.. nothing really happens in La Crescenta, but now, our town's name has been mentioned at least 100 times on tv. but looking at the yellow/orange sky. the red sparks in the mountains. friends evacuating. schools cancelling. its pretty annoying now. and i want it to STOP.
Also last week, i had my early birthday party thingy. me and my awesome friends got together and saw LEGALLY BLONDE:THE MUSICAL. it was pretty ntighttt. i had soo much fun and i owe it all to my buddds:)
Today, i turned 16...finally:D
Im in my moms office right now. waiting for...well really nothing. But im okay. i like being alone. sometimes, people need to be alone so that they can think.dream.process everything they've experienced.
before i started todays blog, i thought of all the crappy things that happened this past week. there was a lot. i was hurt and angry and depressed. but i said to myself, oh whattheheck. its my birthday, and i should be happy. so im gonna skip all of that. im going to enjoy today and tomorrow.
happy birthday katie, madison, grace, and Dr.Phil!:)
cool how we all have the same birthday;D
have a wonderful September 1st no school smokey hot day:)
love&
peace
Last week was suppose to be the last week of summer vacation...but it wasnt. This huge fire broke out in La Canada..and now in La Crescenta..and now in Sunland. its HUGE. GINORMOUS. CRAZY. anyway, this fire at first was...exciting. cool.. nothing really happens in La Crescenta, but now, our town's name has been mentioned at least 100 times on tv. but looking at the yellow/orange sky. the red sparks in the mountains. friends evacuating. schools cancelling. its pretty annoying now. and i want it to STOP.
Also last week, i had my early birthday party thingy. me and my awesome friends got together and saw LEGALLY BLONDE:THE MUSICAL. it was pretty ntighttt. i had soo much fun and i owe it all to my buddds:)
Today, i turned 16...finally:D
Im in my moms office right now. waiting for...well really nothing. But im okay. i like being alone. sometimes, people need to be alone so that they can think.dream.process everything they've experienced.
before i started todays blog, i thought of all the crappy things that happened this past week. there was a lot. i was hurt and angry and depressed. but i said to myself, oh whattheheck. its my birthday, and i should be happy. so im gonna skip all of that. im going to enjoy today and tomorrow.
happy birthday katie, madison, grace, and Dr.Phil!:)
cool how we all have the same birthday;D
have a wonderful September 1st no school smokey hot day:)
love&
peace
Monday, August 17, 2009
family
I wish everyone knew how important and special family time is. To be honest, I enjoy spending time with my family (cousins, aunt/uncles, grandma/grandpa) more than with my friends. I love my friends and all, but being with my family truly makes me happy. and i always try to remember that...God is part of my family too. I forget sometimes. Anyway, Happy Aguest 17th! :)
Peace
Peace
Sunday, August 9, 2009
cool
it has been quite a long time since i've written. but nothing BIG happened since the last time i wrote. My depression went away. i saw harry potter. and i finished summer school:) i also went to two camps which were fun. im also still working on my SAT score. and my distant cousins from Germany are visiting:)
So today, i was at church and this police car came in. and me and other church people were like O.o so me, trying to be cool and lame, went up to the police officer and asked, "is there a problem, Officer?" HAHAHAHAH. like in those movies when people go, is there a problem officer? you know? get it? i dont know if you do, but it was realllllly funny. and i laughed a lot. by myself because nobody at church got my little stunt. except a three year old who laughed cause i was laughing. i had fun.
After church, me, my dad, my mom, my cousin faith, &my cousin hanna went to go see my step brother in Fullerton. We saw G.I Joe (great movie. the guys there are all hot:D) and we went to Top Class Pizza(Great pizza. i recommend it!) to eat dinner and it got kind of chilly so i grabbed my dads car key and walked over to his car. Next to my dads car were these people who were having a friendly conversation. they looked like they were all family and i saw this little girl drawing on my dads car. i smiled cause it was cute and i went over to her and i asked her nicely, "Hey, excuse me for a second, i need to open the trunk:)" and i pressed the unlock button and i pulled the trunk handle. it didnt open. i tried again and all of a sudden, i hear a "Hey, this is my car" To my right was the man in the family group next to the car that i thought was my dads. they ALL started to laugh.. i was so humiliated, i felt my face getting red and hot so i just yelled sorry and ran. i didnt see a car coming by and it literally was going to hit me but it stopped. i heard the family laugh even harder and i ran off again...
i forgot that my dads car was parked somewhere different today. (its usually parked there. the place where i looked like a fool and was almost hit by a car.) anyway, i went to my dads real car, grabbed his fat jacket. put it on. wore my moms sunglasses and laughed and cried. it was so sad, but it was funny cause, well it was funny.
today was a fun day.
i wish i had siblings who lived with me.
i wish i had bigger eyes.
i wish i had longer hair again.
i wish i could stop wishing cause i think i have all the things i need and im just being selfish.
today at church, i learned that a group of people praying together is more powerful than just one person praying. sooo, if you need someone to pray for you, im always here and just tell me your prayer requests. Ill pray for you. (: (: (:
OH, i wanna wish Happy Birthdays to...
REBEKAH:
happppppy birthday<3 even though i always make fun of you and tell you all these stuff that make you mad, dont forget that i love you. have fun in korean without me and hope that you have a wonderfullllllllllll 16th!~
JOE:
happy happy happy birthday! :D thanks for always making me laugh:) thanks for being awesome:) have a wonderful birthday with your new guitar! dont forget to play me a songgg! Me and Faith love you!!!<3 ;)
Peaceeeeeeeeeeeeeee<3
So today, i was at church and this police car came in. and me and other church people were like O.o so me, trying to be cool and lame, went up to the police officer and asked, "is there a problem, Officer?" HAHAHAHAH. like in those movies when people go, is there a problem officer? you know? get it? i dont know if you do, but it was realllllly funny. and i laughed a lot. by myself because nobody at church got my little stunt. except a three year old who laughed cause i was laughing. i had fun.
After church, me, my dad, my mom, my cousin faith, &my cousin hanna went to go see my step brother in Fullerton. We saw G.I Joe (great movie. the guys there are all hot:D) and we went to Top Class Pizza(Great pizza. i recommend it!) to eat dinner and it got kind of chilly so i grabbed my dads car key and walked over to his car. Next to my dads car were these people who were having a friendly conversation. they looked like they were all family and i saw this little girl drawing on my dads car. i smiled cause it was cute and i went over to her and i asked her nicely, "Hey, excuse me for a second, i need to open the trunk:)" and i pressed the unlock button and i pulled the trunk handle. it didnt open. i tried again and all of a sudden, i hear a "Hey, this is my car" To my right was the man in the family group next to the car that i thought was my dads. they ALL started to laugh.. i was so humiliated, i felt my face getting red and hot so i just yelled sorry and ran. i didnt see a car coming by and it literally was going to hit me but it stopped. i heard the family laugh even harder and i ran off again...
i forgot that my dads car was parked somewhere different today. (its usually parked there. the place where i looked like a fool and was almost hit by a car.) anyway, i went to my dads real car, grabbed his fat jacket. put it on. wore my moms sunglasses and laughed and cried. it was so sad, but it was funny cause, well it was funny.
today was a fun day.
i wish i had siblings who lived with me.
i wish i had bigger eyes.
i wish i had longer hair again.
i wish i could stop wishing cause i think i have all the things i need and im just being selfish.
today at church, i learned that a group of people praying together is more powerful than just one person praying. sooo, if you need someone to pray for you, im always here and just tell me your prayer requests. Ill pray for you. (: (: (:
OH, i wanna wish Happy Birthdays to...
REBEKAH:
happppppy birthday<3 even though i always make fun of you and tell you all these stuff that make you mad, dont forget that i love you. have fun in korean without me and hope that you have a wonderfullllllllllll 16th!~
JOE:
happy happy happy birthday! :D thanks for always making me laugh:) thanks for being awesome:) have a wonderful birthday with your new guitar! dont forget to play me a songgg! Me and Faith love you!!!<3 ;)
Peaceeeeeeeeeeeeeee<3
Monday, July 13, 2009
prayer
i had a really bad day today. it was frustrating because i wanted to do something about a problem, but i couldnt. i was helpless. like a sheep with broken legs who lost its voice and couldnt "baa" to let anyone know that something was wrong.
once a year, i get depressed. its either during finals, or some frustrating month and this year, suprisingly, its here already.
today, i said my grandma and uncles name, and i started to tear up. i tried to explain to my mom about my headach, i started to tear up. people from the gym started to ask me if i was feeling okay, i started to tear up. i was listening to my ipod today, i started to tear up. my dad told me that our "youth" group from church was going to go on a retreat with people i dont know, i started to tear up.
this is probably going to last a...month? its going to suck. im gonna pray, but its still going to be hard for me. pray for me. please.
its summer. its hot. theres a lot that i wanna accomplish this summer. like i am soo determined, but i dont think i can do it alone. help me please.
harry potter is coming out tomorrow which is pretty crazy. im really excited and this is the only thing thats giving me my extra energy to not get sick.
this weekend is a leadership camp with ASB including Joe:) im excited, but not like HYPED. itll probably change as the week progresses.
i wanna go on houseboats. kailey and hannah described em so nice, i wanna go. it might be a really nice experience for me. im gonna pray bout it.
i have lots of things to pray for...
Peaceee
once a year, i get depressed. its either during finals, or some frustrating month and this year, suprisingly, its here already.
today, i said my grandma and uncles name, and i started to tear up. i tried to explain to my mom about my headach, i started to tear up. people from the gym started to ask me if i was feeling okay, i started to tear up. i was listening to my ipod today, i started to tear up. my dad told me that our "youth" group from church was going to go on a retreat with people i dont know, i started to tear up.
this is probably going to last a...month? its going to suck. im gonna pray, but its still going to be hard for me. pray for me. please.
its summer. its hot. theres a lot that i wanna accomplish this summer. like i am soo determined, but i dont think i can do it alone. help me please.
harry potter is coming out tomorrow which is pretty crazy. im really excited and this is the only thing thats giving me my extra energy to not get sick.
this weekend is a leadership camp with ASB including Joe:) im excited, but not like HYPED. itll probably change as the week progresses.
i wanna go on houseboats. kailey and hannah described em so nice, i wanna go. it might be a really nice experience for me. im gonna pray bout it.
i have lots of things to pray for...
Peaceee
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
pain.
Have you ever smelled pain?
so, im sitting at tutor, trying to figure out a math problem and my head starts to feel a little light. so i looked up from my book and then...at that exact moment, i took a breath of air and it smelled like...pain.
this may sound a little crazy but i REALLy did smell pain. I can't describe it to you because well, its been 1 hour and a half since the incident but, MANN was it NOT pleasant. My body felt like it was going to drop dead, and it smelled...like tree/flower pollen with a pinch of sugar. It wasn't sweet but it didnt smell bitter either.
When i mean by "smell", it did not cause me pain. it just was...pain it self. & It didnt smell like blood either. I've never tasted pain before so how should I know what pain smells like? I have no idea. but i know that THAT smell...was PAIN.
do u think it is possible to smell pain? or fear? or exhaustion? You know that saying, where like the enemy can smell your fear or was it a dog? IDK...my bff Jill (7th time!!!:D) but anyway, it was the weirdest experience I have experienced in a loooooong time. Tell me if you have gone through something similar like this:)
oh, and please pray for me so that i can do well on my finals next week and my grades won't be so bad...or my mom won't get so mad...:D
song of the day: "Only a God Like You" Tommy Walker
It makes me smile:)
Peace
so, im sitting at tutor, trying to figure out a math problem and my head starts to feel a little light. so i looked up from my book and then...at that exact moment, i took a breath of air and it smelled like...pain.
this may sound a little crazy but i REALLy did smell pain. I can't describe it to you because well, its been 1 hour and a half since the incident but, MANN was it NOT pleasant. My body felt like it was going to drop dead, and it smelled...like tree/flower pollen with a pinch of sugar. It wasn't sweet but it didnt smell bitter either.
When i mean by "smell", it did not cause me pain. it just was...pain it self. & It didnt smell like blood either. I've never tasted pain before so how should I know what pain smells like? I have no idea. but i know that THAT smell...was PAIN.
do u think it is possible to smell pain? or fear? or exhaustion? You know that saying, where like the enemy can smell your fear or was it a dog? IDK...my bff Jill (7th time!!!:D) but anyway, it was the weirdest experience I have experienced in a loooooong time. Tell me if you have gone through something similar like this:)
oh, and please pray for me so that i can do well on my finals next week and my grades won't be so bad...or my mom won't get so mad...:D
song of the day: "Only a God Like You" Tommy Walker
It makes me smile:)
Peace
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